We’re so sorry. If you’re reading this because your mom or dad just died, you don’t have to do everything today, and you don’t have to do it alone. This checklist breaks the first weeks into small steps, with the words official US agencies use, so you know what really needs doing now and what can wait.
Questions about the will, probate, the estate or who is allowed to do what go to an attorney licensed in your parent’s state. If your parent didn’t have one, call the probate court clerk in the county where your parent lived and ask what the first step is.
Today
- Tell close family by phone, not by text. Pick one person to make the calls.
- Ask someone to lock up the house and look after any pets.
- Look for written wishes about a funeral, burial or cremation. Ask close family and your parent’s attorney if they know of any.
Day 2
- Choose a funeral home, or call the one your parent chose. You can compare prices by phone. The FTC says: “Funeral directors must give you price information on the telephone if you ask for it.”
- Give the funeral home your parent’s Social Security number. Social Security’s booklet “How Social Security Can Help You When a Family Member Dies” says: “Give the deceased’s Social Security number to the funeral director because they usually report the person’s death to us.”
- Ask about certified copies of the death certificate: how many, the cost and when they’ll be ready.
- Was your parent a veteran? Find the DD 214 discharge papers and tell the funeral home. VA’s National Cemetery Scheduling Office is 800-535-1117.
Day 3
- Find where the will is, and leave the original there. Call the attorney and ask what they need from the family.
- List the bills due in the next 30 days. Before you pay, stop or change anything, ask the attorney or whoever is handling the estate.
- Start a “who has been told” list. Write every call: the date, who you spoke with, any reference number and what they need. When someone asks “Did anyone tell the bank?”, the answer is on the list.
- Eat something, and sleep if you can. When someone offers to help, say yes.
The first two weeks
Social Security
Ask the funeral home if it reported the death. If it didn’t, you’ll need to call. USA.gov says: “SSA only accepts reports of death by phone or in person.” Social Security’s number is 1-800-772-1213.
If benefits came by direct deposit, USA.gov says: “The SSA cannot pay benefits for the month of a recipient’s death.” And: “If the payment is by direct deposit, notify the financial institution as soon as possible.”
If a spouse is still living, ask Social Security about survivor benefits. Its booklet describes “a one-time lump sum death payment (LSDP) of $255.”
Banks and credit cards
USA.gov says: “Report the person’s death to banks, credit card companies, credit bureaus, and other financial organizations.” Call the number on the statement or the back of the card. Before you close an account or move money, ask the bank and the attorney.
Insurance, pensions and benefits
Call each one and ask what they need: life insurance, pension, retirement and investment accounts, annuities and health or drug plans. If your parent was a veteran, the VA benefits hotline is 800-827-1000.
Debt collectors
The CFPB says: “Get the details of the debt in writing.” And: “Avoid giving anyone your personal information.” It also says: “If you have questions about whether you’re responsible for a deceased person’s debts, you may want to talk to a lawyer.”
The first two months
- Mail. Keep bringing it in, and add any account you didn’t know about to your list. To forward it, USPS says you must “Provide documented proof that you are the appointed executor or administrator authorized to manage the deceased’s mail.” It adds: “Simply having their death certificate is not enough.”
- Credit bureaus. Experian says: “Once you notify one credit bureau of a loved one’s death, it’ll notify the other two, so there’s no need to reach out to all three.”
- Taxes. Give your parent’s tax preparer the IRS page “File the final income tax returns of a deceased person.”
- Other offices. USA.gov’s page “Agencies to notify when someone dies” lists the motor vehicles office, the U.S. passport, voter registration and the IRS. It also says: “And contact utilities and places where the person had memberships and subscriptions.”
- Phone and online accounts. Check whether your parent set up an Apple Legacy Contact or Google’s Inactive Account Manager. If not, both companies have a request form for a deceased family member’s account.
Death certificate copies: how many?
USA.gov says: “You’ll need the person’s Social Security number and certified copies of their death certificate for most agencies and programs.” At each place, ask: “Do you need a certified copy, or will a photocopy do? Will you send it back?” Keep a short log of where each certified copy went. For more copies later, contact the vital records office of the state where the death occurred.
Why the papers matter so much
Almost every step above starts with “find the…”: the will, the bank, the policy, the DD 214. Families who already know where things are spend these weeks making calls, not searching drawers. If your other parent is still living, or you’re helping a parent-in-law, this is a good time to write down where their papers are while everyone is calm.
The Parent Paperwork System helps you do that with your parent, kindly and at their pace. The Plus edition includes a separate booklet for the first days after a loss in the family, with a “who has been told” log and phone scripts for the bank and utilities. See a free sample (PDF) first.
This article is general information, not legal, tax or financial advice. Quotes are from the official pages named, as checked in October 2026.